A Semester Has Come & Gone...

Nearly 4 months, 51 friendships, and 15 units later, I am done here. As I am writing, I am spending my last night in South Africa. Maybe ever, but I really hope not. By the time this blog is read, I will be done with plane flights and customs, and be back in CA. I have realized that even my blogs have forgotten to cover huge chunks of my life here. In fact, I realized I forgot to write one about my week experience in a Zulu village and on a safari. Considering that the week included near death for some, about 15-20 hospitalizations, and over a week of continual sickness for about 30+ of the students here (including myself), I will need to explain that one someday… But then again, it’s not the most pleasant story. I’ll leave it up to you if you’d want to hear it...

There are many stories I have worth telling. And there were many moments when cameras were not around to capture all the memories (which are usually the best moments, since you’re so busy enjoying life you forget about things like cameras). But besides all the stories and pictures I will bring back to share, I realize that there might be things I cannot share at all, even if I tried really hard to. I am different now, and I am not even exactly sure how; but I know I’m a different person than the one who got on that plane to Africa back in January.

I will be processing and trying to figure out this whole semester for a long, long time. But I know that I have been so blessed to have been chosen for the opportunity. I know that God chose this for my life for a big reason, one I do not understand fully, but am slowly starting too. He chose to meet me here in South Africa; to meet me at the Indian Ocean when the sun was rising, to meet me in the things I learned in classes, to meet me at the waterfall, and to meet me in the lives and faces of women suffering with aids. He showed me more about His greatness, His Grace, and His Love for a suffering world. He gave me more clarity about the direction of my life (yay, I finally think I might have a direction…maybe) and showed me more about myself. I also learned more about what it means to really trust God, and that to gain my life, I need to lose it.

By far, this has been the greatest and most life changing semester and 4 months of my life; months full of thousands of moments that I hope to hold on to and never forget. They were months where I was broken and built up, and months where I got to live and experience community and life in a new way. They were my months in the wonderful country of South Africa.

The Last Month

The last month of my time here I have been in buses, hotels, people’s houses in the community, Christian colleges, and on some trains. It has been hectic and busy, and I have rarely spent time on my computer; at least not enough time to blog until now... And my guess is that by the time I post it, I will already be home in the U.S. Because I have had so much happen and these last 20 or so days have felt like years, I will try to (very quickly) recap my life.
I traveled 25 hours in a bus over one week, stopping along the way, and saw some gorgeous oceans and places. I watched my crazy adventurous friends do the highest bungee jump in the world, which unfortunately I had neither the guts nor the money to do. I rode an ostrich. Yep, pretty weird, but it was fun. I also explored the Cango caves, which I think I heard is the world’s largest underground caves, but I’m not sure… I arrived in Cape Town, which is a gorgeous exciting city that’s a mix between San Francisco, Europe, and LA, with hints of Africa, of course. It is more touristy and westernized than PMB was, and feels a lot more like a vacation. I took trains to fun places and markets, and spent too much money on food. Like always. I also hiked up and down Table Mountain, which is huge (google it) and I felt accomplished.
For just over a week, my roommate Jessica and I stayed with the Mostert family in a town called Ocean View. They are an Afrikaans speaking family, and we got to know Naz, Wayne, and their two boys; Luke and Noah. We ate meals with them, had great conversations, watched their soap operas (and many, many Michael Jackson music videos), went to their church and their son’s soccer game, and even took a trip to the emergency room when Noah cut his head open at a carnival one night. Remind me to tell you the story behind that emergency room visit sometime; it involves a love confession, and a bipolar patient named Aiden who claimed to have a “billionaire playboy mansion.” Oh, lucky me…
In just that one short week, the Mostert Family became our family. We knew their lives and history, and they knew ours. Our host mom Naz took amazing care of us. She fed us way too much, did all our laundry, and cried the day we said goodbye. Our host dad brought home delicious chocolate cereal and Kit-Kats from work. Luke would cheat when we played cards every night, and Noah woke us up each morning bright and early with his two year old screaming and whining. It was wonderful, because it was our family, and it was a really hard thing to leave and say goodbye to.
The next week, we stayed at a small Bible college called The Bible Institute. It was kind of like The Master’s college of South Africa, a college where you cannot dance or “have celebrations of any kind in the parking lot” (that was literally in the rule book we had to sign…). However, it was right across the street from the beach and in a great little town, so it all worked out. I spent mornings (well ok… one) running along the streets next to the ocean, and went to a nearby bakery/café literally every day, where I ate chocolate croissants, drank coffee, and was glued to a good book. I also explored the city a few times, going to waterfront (which is like Pier 39 but better…) and to a town called Woodstock, where I went to a fabulous market w/artsy things and gourmet food (and almost got mugged a few times on the way… don’t worry mom, I’m okay..)
To remind you, that was the short version of my last month. Ah, hectic. Now, I am sitting in a hotel as I finish writing; the last hotel I will be at until heading back home to America. It has been a wonderful last month. It went by in the “blink of an eye” as a saying goes, and I do not want to see it end… But, as another saying goes, “all good things must end.” Man, I hate true sayings…

Service and Learning

This blog can do no justice to the 4 weeks I had experienced at my service site here in Africa, but I shall try to write about it anyway. I have started and already completed my service sites, a three and a half week program that is part of my community engagement class. I was placed in a community center called Riv’ Life (River of Life) with 7 other girls here in Africa with me. I was blessed with an amazing team of wonderful women, and we all became very close over the days spent together.
In our weeks at Riv’ Life, we experienced a lot and were able to serve and engage with the community in many different ways. We spent some mornings in the township of Cinderella Park, where we met various families. Many that we met were HIV positive and shared their lives and stories with us; stories that I could never imagine claiming as my own. We also spent time at a women’s HIV support group every Tuesday and Friday, where we met some very fun and incredible women. There we learned to crochet (even though they did most of the work and laughed at ours), learned some Zulu dancing, and explored their community. We also brought them some food that our American culture is used to (cheese quesadillas, guacamole, and rice crispy treats) and they served us some cultural food as well. One of the worst experiences I have had here in Africa has been the day they entered the room with hot bowls full of some hot gritty potato stuff (seriously the best way I can describe it) with some cow intestines and stomach lining on top. As they would call the meal, it was the “insides of cow”, and it was horrible! The other girls and I sat around for 20 minutes slowly taking bites and feeling sick at the very sight of the meal. We honestly felt like we were going to be sick if we ate it. While it is a much longer story, I ended up piling over half (very sneakily) into a bag I had while none of the ladies were watching me. It saved me from a week of stomach aches.
We also spent a majority of time with the children at the community center. We saw them every afternoon. Some days me and the group felt tired and frustrated. We dealt with more snot and getting peed on and kids whining and crying then I ever have before. However, behind those harder days, I saw something more serious and sad and wonderful all at once happening. I saw the way life is in a way I have never experienced it before. I saw this in my days with the women and in the communities as well. I witnessed how older kids would walk miles to Riv’ Life for a single meal after school, and how many of the children we held and came to love over the weeks have no food for lunch, have scabies and stages of HIV, and that not every child I held and played with will even grow up to see their adulthood. It is heartbreaking, and I know it must be breaking the heart of God as well. But I also saw how full of joy and how happy people can be with the little they are given. The people in these communities were so thankful for the gift of life and for another day here on earth. They have such a deep faith and trust in God, and I have seen His presence and powers working in these people.
Service sites were enjoyable and probably the best thing this semester. There was laughter, painting, fun and inside jokes with my team. However, underneath all of that there was a feeling of hopelessness and sadness at the things that hurt the wonderful and innocent people in this world. Until now I had only read or seen movies that try and depict the horrors and tragedy that HIV and poverty can bring, but to actually make friends with the victims and to hold the babies it effects further opens my eyes shakes me to my core. I realize how privileged I am to have had such an easy and pain free life, and realize how spoiled I am to have had felt somehow “entitled” to it this past 20 years.
I am still processing the effects that only 4 weeks at Riv’ Life had on me, and probably will be for a long time to come. I know there are and will continue to be changes in myself and my life now, and that is one step closer to a purpose this experience might have been about. I’m not really sure where I see God in things sometimes, but there were certain days I look back on when I could have pointed and said “There He is. Right there.” Now I only need to figure out where I am supposed to go from here, and where God can be the one to see me and place me in the midst of all of this.

Having No Control

I Love Azusa Pacific, and my last two years in the University have been wonderful. But, thanks to a lovely thing called money, I have not been sure these past months if I can stay at APU next year, and I am currently still not sure. Back in November I applied to Sacramento State, knowing that I might need to come home and avoid even more school loans. At the same time that month, I applied for a Resident Advisor (RA) position with APU. Since my freshman year, I dreamed of being an RA and knew I would love to someday hold that leadership position. That position also means free rooming, which would save some money and further ensure my continuance at Azusa . I had been praying about both paths and that God would direct these decisions and results.
Well, yesterday some results were in…. and sadly, I did not get the Resident Advisor position. I was, and still am, sad about the decision made and cannot quite understand why it was not meant to happen. Only a few minutes later I also learned that Azusa is yet again raising tuition for next year. I went over to the prayer chapel on our S.A campus to pray and cry, and while I was in there, friends came in and prayed with and over me, and I was able to be honest and vulnerable about my worry and anxiousness and despair. I felt like the rejection of RA, and learning that tuition is increasing was all guidance from God telling me it was time to come home, and, honestly, that guidance was not a good feeling.
Since last night and into the morning I was constantly thinking of a few different things. The first was something I recently learned in a class. When sheep in a herd start to stray or go away from the flock or Sheppard, sometimes the Sheppard will actually break the leg of that sheep, and carry it around until the leg heals. When the leg finally heals, that sheep will be so familiar with the Sheppard, and so comforted by His presence that it will always follow him after. I think this relates to why God chooses to break us sometimes, and that although it hurts, He will also carry us through it, and during the process, we draw closer to Him. I know that God knows the plans for my life and future, and I trust that they are right. The real hard part is being patient, and realizing that we cannot know everything that will happen.
The other thing I was thinking about was how God knows the desires of our hearts. Last night, I struggled with that idea, because it seems so unfair that APU has to be such a great school and opportunity, but may be out of reach since I am not rich. I wonder why going there is a desire of my heart, but at the same time, understand that the desire must be bigger than me, and for a bigger purpose that will somehow glorify or bring joy to the Lord. Then again, if that is true, why would I have to leave?
I spent the night praying that God would give me a sense of direction, peace, and understanding. As I woke up this morning, I had a better sense of that, and feeling that wherever I am supposed to end up, that is where I will be. But at the same time, the desires of my heart were still the same. The decision by Sacramento State was supposed to show up on my email over a week ago, but never did. I opened my email, and today of all days, it was finally there. I was denied acceptance, and I have never been so happy in my life to get rejected. I got chills because the timing of all these events seemed a little too perfect. After a night of thinking these were all signs pointing to Sacramento, and believing I would have to give up the goals and dreams I desire, God says something like, “Nope, haha got ya, you are not coming home.” Or, at least for now I am not.
It does not change that I am still so short on money, or that I will have to think of a way to make the life I made at APU continue. I am now completely uncertain what this is all supposed to mean, but I think for now, I will pursue the desires of my heart, because they were placed there by God. He will either see those through, or He just may need more time to change my heart and figure out a new plan for my life. Either way, I will trust Him, and I will love the day and breath and life I have been given.

These are the Days....

Hello yet again everyone! It has been about 3 weeks since I have written, and it has been a busy time. There were some packed weeks of classes, papers, and preparing for finals, but thankfully the hard work is over and I have finished up with my two elective classes, Art and Life & Teachings of Jesus. For the rest of my time here I will only have to worry about History, Intercultural Communication, and Community Engagement. This week my community engagement class is starting, and on Thursday I will be starting work at my service site, called “Riv’ Life.” I and several others were assigned to this site, and we will be caring for children, doing community food drives, working with support groups for people with Aids, and many other things I am not quite sure of yet. We will be at these sites 4 times a week for the next 4 weeks, and I am excited to meet the local people in the community, build relationships, and learn more about the culture.
Despite the busy weeks full of work, all of us here have found the time to have a lot of fun. We have found some delicious coffee places, and spent a few nights out at the movies, since they are only 2 dollars here! I am also newly addicted to a card game called “nerts” which is a weird mix of solitaire and speed. We also celebrated finals and classes being over with dinner out to Thai food, dessert, a dance party, and a movie. Besides that, we spent our free time building bonfires, chasing zebras and basking in the African sun. The last few weekends I have also been very busy traveling. A few weeks back, we went to see the San Bushman paintings in Drakensburg, and spent the day hiking up the mountain and swimming in the river. The next weekend we went to a zip-line course, where we spent the day working our way down a mountain using 8 different zip-lines, and now Tarzan has nothing on me. Flying through the jungle definitely met some of my South Africa expectations. This past weekend we went to 4 different battlefields, where we were able to get tours and accounts of the past wars that had taken place at each. It actually wasn’t all that exciting, but we were able to stay at a fancy hotel and eat a delicious fancy dinner. Good food is amazing and rare here, since the campus’ only food groups seem to be meat, rice, and PB&J. We also spent over 10 hours in the bus that weekend, but at least caught up on sleep and road trip games. We also had a “Sunday Funday” just this past week, where we had a slip-n-slide, and played some pretty intense relay race games with our chalet team mates.
It came across my mind that my time here in this country is about ½ way over at this point, which is a crazy realization. It has been such a fun, amazing, and different experience, and I know the next two months will be full of many more experiences. I am thankful for the friendships I have made and for the amazing life I have been given and am living out here each day.

A weekend to turn 20....

Valentines Weekend and my 20th Birthday!!!
This whole last weekend was amazing! It all started Friday, and turned into a very fun and crazy 3 days that made an amazingly long celebration just in time for me getting old(er)…
Friday I went to an Art gallery for a class and went to a fancy British coffee bistro with friends and the professor afterwards where we drank cappuccinos and talked about art and about which cake we ordered was the best. When we got back I did absolutely no homework, and spent the day being lazy and hanging out swapping good music from people’s computers.
On Saturday we went to a marketplace in Durban where we bought gifts and souvenirs and jewelry for amazing prices. The market was busy and fun and I found some really cool artwork that I haggled to get for a good price. A friend and I decided to venture out into the outside marketplace to look for more things, and the city was exciting and scary. It was cool to get away from our massive group of white faces and be immersed in the actual daily life of Durban. However, it was also very frightening. We witnessed a massive and vicious fight break out, so decided to walk by quickly and got by just fine. I also witnessed some guy trying to break into a ladies purse while she was walking, and the poor woman didn’t even realize what was going on. So I decided to be brave and stepped in between them and just looked at him and said “HEY” in a really loud awkward way. I meant say stop or get away, but “hey” is all that came out, hahaha but he walked away quick so I guess it must have worked….
After the market we went to a beach and swam in the beautiful Indian Ocean, and tanned and drank milkshakes and took silly pictures and played some volleyball. It was all swell until the tide came in way too soon and hit most of our things. Luckily, my own stuff was up high up enough, but some people lost some shoes and towels. When we got back, a group of people and I headed over to the “Keg and Hedgehog,” a nearby pub, and spent the night watching a rugby game, listening to live music, dancing, and eating and drinking delicious things. The room also sang me Happy Birthday after one of the guys mentioned I was turning 20. It was fun.
On the actual birthday day, I woke up to my chalet hall decorated with balloons and a giant birthday card with things written from all the people here. I went to an Indian Church, and on the way there one of the trip coordinator’s fiancé sang me an Afrikaans birthday song, which obviously I didn’t understand, but it was very sweet. After church, of all the places in South Africa, I went to McDonalds! I had a lovely birthday mcflurry and hung out with amazing friends. Around 4, for our “second tea time”, I walked into the dining hall to find everyone lined on the sides of the door using their arms for a bridge to run under, which led to a lovely birthday cake the staff made. The group sang and I blew out my candles. As we all ate cake and had our tea, I opened my card and birthday gift; which was a pretty strapless dressed from a store we all love called “Mr. Price.”
Later in the evening I wore my pretty new dress and attended a Valentine’s Day party that the planning committee put on. It was decorated with candles and beautiful flowers, and we ate chicken Alfredo and garlic bread, and had a valentine’s gift exchange between all of us. Then we took many pictures and spent time swing and salsa dancing. After the event, we all huddled into a classroom and ate popcorn and watched a romantic comedy. Overall, it was an amazing and wonderful birthday, one of my best ever, and a great way to enter my twenties. The friends here made it amazing and made it a very meaningful and special day, and also a great end to a wonderful weekend.

Update from South Africa

Sawubonani!!!! “Hello Everyone”
I hope you all have been well in nearly the last month. I have been here in South Africa just over 3 weeks, and am absolutely in love with the country. I have settled into the African Enterprise Campus and have been VERY busy with my classes. Although they are difficult, they are also very stimulating and interesting. I have gotten close with the other 52 students, and together we have formed a little American family while abroad. Culture shock hasn’t really reached me because I am always with the group or at least some of it.
In my free time here I go walking through a game reserve that is right next to the campus. I have seen a lot of zebras and other animals. There is also a nearby mall with super cheap things, and an amazing ice cream place to make me feel right at home. Oh yeah, and we also shoot the monkeys with paintball guns…. (they are evil and will take things.) They even run into classrooms and the dining hall, always looking for food… I love my little chalet, except for the fact that there is no HOT water in ours, so I have taken some very cold showers. I am now also addicted to tea and peanut butter/jelly sandwiches (the later just being random, not really connected to this country at all..)
In the last few weeks there have been a lot of new experiences. I have tried out new churches, met many new people, and have tried new foods (including some very authentic Indian food, and a banana and bacon sandwich- which was really good!). I spent one Saturday seeing birds or prey and actual wild lions, not zoo ones. I also spent an entire weekend in a place called Umzinto, which is outside Pietermaritzburg. On the way there, one of our 5 caravan vehicles broke down, and we got stranded in the middle of nowhere for 5 hours! That weekend some others and I preached at an Indian church (which I was unaware I had to do until the moment we arrived), and had lunch with the pastor and his family. The Indian culture is very interesting and different than our American one, and it was a great opportunity to be the minority in a place and experience life, and Christianity, outside of the “American” way. I also took my first steps in the Indian Ocean, and watched the sunrise over it early one morning. It was amazing!
This upcoming weekend I am going to a beach in Durban, and then will also be turning 20 on Sunday! So very strange, time goes by too quickly. I will be done with a few classes in 3 more weeks, and then starting work at service sites in nearby communities. I look forward to interacting more in the communities through the service sites, and continuing to see what God has to show and teach me about people, life, and Himself through this experience.
Inkosi mayibe nawe ngalo- “May the Lord be with you always.” (I hope I spelt that right…)
Sincerely,
-Emilee Cook